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Yesterday, this little blog took in more than 300 site hits after I posted Life Unraveled, my perspective on being interviewed by The Independent Florida Alligator about how Will’s needs and the current state of disabled affairs in Florida are just not compatible. After the newspaper article and blog post ran, friends and family started sharing these links via social media, and I checked in periodically throughout the day, trying to make sure I saw each post that was visible to me so I could thank everyone for posting and thank those who offered comments of support, good wishes, and prayer.

Then, something truly remarkable happened. People I don’t even know started sharing the links and donating to our fundraising link. They were touched by our story, moved to action, and began posting on their own walls, sending me Facebook messages directly or through mutual friends, and offering their help. I cannot adequately express how overwhelming it is to have such love, positive energy, and support coming our way, to know that so many people want to help me help my son. The response has been more than I could ever have anticipated, and I am so tremendously grateful to everyone who took the time to read about our little family, share the blog and newspaper article, donate to our fundraiser, post messages of support, and offer ideas and suggestions of their own.

So much has happened, I realized I need a place to list all of the incredible things we have going on. So this post, “Gratitude,” will be the place to see all of the ways people can and are helping us, and I will update it as events change, start, and end. If you’re so inclined, please share this with people who have asked you how they can help us.

Current and Upcoming Events:

November 10th – 15th, shop with Body by Vi!

Katherine Edna Boyette is a Body By Vi representative. I’ve never even met Edna; she reached out through my friend Stacey Steinberg. But Edna is contributing to our moving fund by donating her commissions for 6 days. Here’s the post she put out on Facebook: “A chilly Saturday Morning to all my FB friends. Since November 1, a lot of you have been posting what you are thankful for. Many says family, friends, healthy children, etc. I myself is thankful that I have a family that supports me and that I have a healthy daughter who is now living her life helping others via Peace Corps. But then some of us are not that lucky. If you want to know what I am talking about, please take some time to read the blog post of my friend Tara Fitzer Cohen. Her blog says it all –https://inappropriateoutburst.wordpress.com/2012/11/09/life-unraveled/. To help Tara, I am running a fundraiser starting November 10 to November 15, 2012. All of my 10% commission will go to Tara. If you want to help, all you need to do is to purchase any challenge kit from http://healthybody.bodybyvi.com/. With your purchase, you are helping Tara and at the same time you are giving yourself a gift of good nutrition. You can share this site to your friends too. I hope that you can find in your heart to help support this fundraiser.”

December 2nd or 4th (TBD): Join us at Corks And Colors in Gainesville!

Rebecca Barborak owns Corks and Colors, a painting studio in Gainesville where plenty of my friends have had super fun Girls’ Nights Out! I don’t know Rebecca personally, but still she Facebooked me and asked if she could do a benefit night for us! Corks and Colors will provide all of the supplies and donate 100% of the proceeds to my moving fund. With 34 seats available in the studio, at $30 a head, we could raise nearly $1000! Please let me know if you’re interested in joining us, which of the two evenings listed above work better for you, and check back for a Facebook event link once the date is set. 

 

Ongoing Ways To Help

You can also help by hosting an online or in-home Thirty-One party with me! Read more about being a hostess (and see all the great freebies and discounts hostesses get!) by clicking here: Tara’s Thirty-One Page! Of course, not everyone has time to host, even online, but pretty much everyone loves Thirty-One! So please consider doing your holiday shopping with me! I have started a “Tara’s Moving Fundraiser” link in “My Parties” (top left of my Thirty-One page). I will run these special fundraising parties for two weeks at a time so no matter when you order, you won’t have to wait too long for your items to ship! Please consider sharing this information on Facebook and letting your network know that Thirty-One has awesome holiday gifts! Plus, for all purchases through November 26th, you’ll earn a Medium Utility Tote for just $5 for every $35 you spend! Thanks!

You can donate to our move directly via PayPal at taracohen@yahoo.com, or you can donate through our GiveForward link at http://www.giveforward.com/helpingtara

What We Need:

If you’re local or will be in the area, we still need more moving boxes! Please email me or comment here to connect. Do you own a business? Please consider breaking down and setting aside your incoming shipping boxes for a few days for us! 

I am still looking for work. I’m continuing to take new clients through JayBird Media, but I am losing my health insurance in our divorce, and I need a consistent income to support my kids, so I’m looking for a “normal job,” ideally in the Los Angeles area. However, there ARE other places in the country where we will consider moving for the right job because there are many other places with equally outstanding autism services. As well, in marketing and social media, companies often offer telecommuting options due to the nature of the work. So if you know people in marketing and social media, or people looking for services in these fields, please consider connecting me with them no matter where they are located. My portfolio is available on JayBird Media, and you can learn more about my professional experience via LinkedIn

Most importantly of all, please know that I am nothing short of tremendously grateful for every single person, every bit of help, every prayer, every kind word, every burst of good energy that comes our way. My village is astounding, and my heart is full. I will truly never be able to feel I’ve paid this love forward enough. But I promise to try. 

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My recent post about lying via omission to maintain the social contract and my sanity has me thinking about all the ways I have to be less honest than I’d like, specifically when it’s for the benefit of my children, who, ironically, I do want to raise to be honest people. This week, it took the form of spending two hours at the local county health department claiming a religious exemption for their vaccinations, despite being an atheist.

Of course, being an atheist (while still being Jew-“ish”) is a form of religious belief. After all, freedom of religion includes freedom from religion, and religion is really a form of organized philosophy. And philosophically, I completely and fundamentally disagree with the government telling me what to do with my body, and, as an extension, my children’s bodies. So, I suppose, an atheist claiming a religious objection to (or exemption from) something isn’t quite as ironic as it sounds at first, but then again I may simply be justifying my actions, something I often fight the impulse to do despite how much I tell myself I really don’t care what other people think.

So last Thursday, I got “the call” from our elementary school: your kids aren’t up to date on their vaccines, and we need a county religious exemption form for them to stay in school. Ok. So, off to the county health department I went. This building, well-maintained and clean as it may be, makes my skin crawl because it’s full of sick people, and I feel like I’m going to catch dysentery in the parking lot and Ebola in the waiting room. Don’t get me wrong. I’m really, really glad the building is there and that its offices are able to provide all sorts of social and medical services to our community. The Department of Health fills a very important role in our society, and I’m grateful they’re around. It’s just that, if most people’s immune systems are Honda CR-Vs, mine’s a wheelbarrow. So, walking into a building where there are definitely a lot of germy people is not my idea of a fun or intelligent way to spend my afternoon. (more…)

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The first time I intentionally told a complete and total lie, I was four. My sister and I were playing in our brown-shag-carpeted family room in upstate New York, and we decided it would be a really, really good idea to play with the broom, which probably wasn’t the worst idea except that we were playing right near our mom’s Tiffany-style glass lampshade. Long story short, the incident ended with my mom running into the room and scanning the scene: broken lamp, shattered glass in the shag, a clammed up six-year-old, and one petrified four-year-old holding a broom twice her height behind her back. No blood at least, but still, not exactly what a mom wants to see.

To my mom’s credit, when we pointed our fingers at one another, claimed complete innocence, and disavowed any knowledge of either the lamp (which we’d just blamed one another for breaking) or the broom (which I was still holding), she didn’t laugh or scream, both of which would have been appropriate, even simultaneously. No, my mom was quiet at that moment, and that scared the daylights out of me. We knew that she knew. And she knew that we knew. And that guilt was enough to keep me from lying again for a long, long time.

These days, though, I seem to lie a lot, mostly by omission, and primarily because most people don’t really want to hear the honest answers to their daily questions. Autism doesn’t make for polite conversation. Plus, some days I’m so seriously jealous of these women and their normal lives and typical kids that I kind of hate them a little for complaining about the things I would give my left arm for.

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by Tara Cohen

My friend told me she does not like Facebook, and I started hyperventilating. Ok, maybe not truly hyperventilating, more like moderately over-ventilating, but still, I was worked up. I mean, how can anyone not like Facebook? Admittedly, I spend far too much time on Facebook. I realize I’m a Facebook junkie. A Facebook addict. A Facebook fiend. It’s seriously become a problem. The quietest guy I knew in all of my grade-school days Instant Messaged me asking if I worked for Facebook because I was on so much. So now I use the “offline” setting so people can’t see how often I’m there. Like I said: it’s a problem.

I’m on Facebook so much that I made it my browser’s home page. I cannot sit down at my computer without spending at least five minutes responding to wall posts and status updates, application suggestions and group invitations, game nudges and friend requests. I live on Planet Facebook.

So when my friend “Miranda” (who all but made me swear on my iMac not to use her real name) said she just isn’t crazy about Facebook, I had this flash of deja vu and found myself thinking of my mother-in-law.

I’ve been on my mother-in-law for ages to learn to use a computer. A few years ago, she went so far as to accept a hand-me-down from my niece, but all it did was sit in the corner and make her nervous. My husband Marty thought she was afraid if she hit the wrong key she might accidentally bomb China, and honestly, I don’t think he was far off. She called me for advice, and the conversation went something like this:

MiL: Tara, I just don’t know about this thing.
Me: Mom, we’re coming down in a week, and I’ll teach you how to use it.
MiL: Well, bring a new whatchamacallit for the AOL with you because the one I have is the wrong size.
Me: What?
MiL: It’s the wrong size. It’s not going to fit the computer.
Me: What??
MiL: The thing. The whoosie. The…the disc. It’s the AOL ninety nine, and the computer is an oh-two. It’s the wrong size.
Me: Wait…what???

We visited, and, what do you know, the disc was just the right size for the drive. I set up an AOL account, shut down the computer, and started from square one: Turn on the machine. As the desktop flickered into life, my mother-in-law looked skeptically at the various icons and said, “Ok. Now, which one is for the airplane reservations?” And so we started again:

Me: Mom, plane reservations are on websites, not actually on your computer.
MiL: What?
Me: Well, we start by accessing the internet using something called a browser.
MiL: What??
Me: If the computer is your house, then the browser is your car, and you drive the browser to the internet, which is the mall. That has websites, which are like stores.
MiL: Wait…what???

In fairness, my desire to have my mother-in-law use a computer is a little selfish. I’m comfortable with computers. I grew up with them, starting with my dad’s first home IBM, a monster of a machine, complete with the ability to turn the “green screen” to “amber” with just the flip of one glowing switch! (Hey, when your folks won’t buy you an Atari, you make do.) The upshot is that, after a lifetime of computer use, my internet connection goes down for an hour and I’m having heart palpitations. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, was born during the Hoover administration, uses a corded phone, and does not, to my knowledge, own a single CD. I realize we speak two different languages, but I still just can’t get past wanting to get her online.

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